What The CHUFF Are You Talking About? (My rant that involves knob heads and the dictionary)

Seriously… what ARE you talking about?

There are so many ‘buzzwords’ floating around nowadays in this game of life that most of us don’t have any idea EXACTLY what the hell it is we even want.








Most of us want the majority (if not all and more) of these things to be playing a large part in our daily lives.

Yet I’m willing to bet most of us haven’t actually DEFINED what they mean.

Because guess what, amigo?

YOU get to decide what they mean.

Now of course they all have their ‘dictionary definitions’.

The boring, generic and pretty much ‘empty’ meaning of the words.

But when it comes down to it these are USELESS when it comes to APPLYING it to us and our lives.

Many people say to me that they hate all that ‘enlightenment’ and ‘fulfilment’ bollocks.

And it’s usually because they aren’t really sure what this actually means.

I’m not saying these people are idiots.

They KNOW the boring and generic definitions of these words (or have a vague idea at least).

But these words have no MEANING to them as an individual.

Yet I’m pretty sure that they, us, me and everyone else are searching at some level for the FEELING behind these words.

So let’s get CLEAR on what the hell each one of us is actually frigin talking about!

What do these words (or any other of these ’ambiguous’ words) mean to YOU?

What EXACTLY do they mean?

What would it take for YOU to feel successful?

What does fulfilment look like to YOU?

What is freedom to YOU?

When is the last time YOU experienced joy? And how can you repeat that feeling?

Come on, this is YOUR life, home slice!

Don’t let some bell end with a fat wallet tell you what success is.

Don’t let some fucker who spends 99% of her day meditating tell you what enlightenment is.

And certainly don’t let some suit at Oxford tell you what happiness is in their big book of words they call a dictionary.

This is YOUR life.

YOU get to decide how you want to feel and what these things mean.


What do they mean?

What DON’T they mean?

And things may start to get a wee bit clearer.

Love, Laughter & Light,

P.S. Wanna join me on a journey to happiness, freedom and mastering that crazy bastard in your head?

Join my group… Enlightened Entrepreneurial Badasses!


How To Deal With Fear Of Judgement From Others

My finger hung there over the button.

All I had to do was push it.

But for some reason it was as if pushing it would be like pushing the big red self-destruct button that would cause my entire life to cave in and I would end up a complete outcast from society with no friends, no money and no life.

I still hung there thinking about everything.

“Press the button,” I kept silently screaming at myself.

“No, the world will end,” my own brain screamed back.

I kept thinking about how I had spent hours making this first video.

The video that WASN’T actually about my expertise, but that was about… ME. Me and my struggles and my thoughts and my story.

I’d put a lot of effort into it.

But I couldn’t send it out to the world of Facebook.

What if people think I’m stupid?

What if people think it’s not a ‘good enough’ story?

What if people might think I’m attention seeking?

What if people might think I’m wrong to feel the way I feel?

What if someone sees my post and thinks I’m a such a nerd that they come round my house, call me names and leave me with an atomic wedgie before taking my lunch money?

It’s pretty daft really when you think about it.

This whole fear of judgement thing.

But here’s the thing…

The fear isn’t that we will receive judgement.

(We’re being judged every single day of our lives).

The REAL fear is that we won’t get the judgement we wanted.

That we will be judged in a way that we don’t like.

Whether a judgement is positive or negative…. it’s still a fucking judgement!


Well, beginning to detach ourselves from the EXPECTATION that everyone will judge us positively in whatever we do is a big step forward.

But that still leaves us petrified of actually putting ‘the real us’ out there time after time.

So let’s go back to that finger hanging over the button.

Why couldn’t I press it?

Essentially because I didn’t want to be told I was ‘wrong’ to put it out there.

I think whatever the fear looks like on the outset, it all boils down in this case to not wanting to be told that you shouldn’t have done what you did end up doing.

“You shouldn’t have put that out there”

“This is wrong”

“You’re talking bollocks”

But when you think about it… what IS wrong?

Wrong is a judgement.

An actual act or thing itself cannot intrinsically BE wrong.

We as individuals pass a judgement on something and call it to be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

And that judgement is a subjective opinion that is based on each individual’s past experiences, upbringing, values and beliefs.

So as long as what you put out there is what you GENUINELY believe to be true at the time…

You cannot BE wrong.


My intention with the video I was hanging my finger over was to INSPIRE others and to CONNECT with people through vulnerability.

Whether someone judged my actual words to be complete and utter bollocks is irrelevant at the end of the day.

Because my intention was clear.

And my intent is far greater and more powerful than the actual content.

In fact, it’s a pretty awesome starting place to come from when it comes to creating your content.

(Your content being anything from a blog, a video or a simple conversation with someone).

So what do you do when your finger is hanging over that button (so to speak)?

Well, asking yourself…

1. Am I sure of what my INTENT is behind putting this out there?

2. Is what I’m about to put out there driven by this intent?

3. Do I GENUINELY believe this ‘thing’ to be true right now?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to all these, then you’re armed with pretty much all you need to bulletproof yourself from anyone judging you negatively when you do put it out.

So the prediction is ‘I put this out, and someone tells me I’m a dick and I don’t know what I’m talking about’.

What’s your response?

Well, let’s use my video as an example again and assume someone came out and said this after I posted it.

My response would have been…

“Cool. I’m sorry you feel that way. But my intent with this video was to simply try and connect in a more authentic way with the people here on my Facebook profile, and to possibly inspire others to get them through a similar situation.

“I genuinely believe what I said to be true and correct based on my own experiences and knowledge, but it’s your free will to disagree. I’m always open to learning some new stuff though if you’re up for possibly discussing in a calm and non-aggressive way.”

And that would be that.

If the person is cool, they would back down back to your level.

If not, they can fuck off and go shove something very large up themselves.


The key is having a RESPONSE for the PREDICTION that you will get ‘attacked’ for saying what you believe to be true.

In all likelihood, you will not even need to use this response.

I didn’t have to.

But I know it’s there for pretty much all the stuff I say, do and act out.

And it enables me to move on and show up without all the worry and shit storms going on in my head.

Love, Laughter & Light,


Why Freedom & Enjoyment is the Key to True Transformation

“It just makes me want to tear my hair out!!!”

This is what a former client of mine said to me when we first met.

Let’s call her Clare (I’ve changed her name for this article).

Clare had been dieting for years.

Following recipe plans.

Reading books.

Watching TV programmes.

And she’d had, well, mixed results.

Lost a bit of weight.

Felt a bit better.

And then when things seemed to be progressing…

She’d end up unable to keep willing her way through, fall off the bandwagon, end up back at square one and feeling like a miserable failure yet again.

Sound familiar?

Transformation vs Change

You see, Clare had tried to follow plans in the past.

Plans that were pretty strict.

Plans that meant she was unable to go out and socialise.

Plans that would lead to her moving towards her goal but hating the process.

Things had changed.

But they had not truly transformed.

So, what do I mean by that?

Well, change is easy.

Change something once and you’ve changed, right?

The only problem is that change, by its very definition, is… changeable.

You can change something, hold on for 30, 60, 90 days, get a result and then either change back or into something else.

It’s like holding your breath and hoping you can just will yourself through life without needing to exhale.

Transformation, on the other hand, is permanent.

You don’t go back from transformation.

By its very definition, you have transformed, and going back would require you to transform again.

But I’m not just talking about transformation in terms of diets and weight loss.

Consider what transforming would do as an entrepreneur or business owner too.

Just as dieters seem to be never able to stick to a diet, many business owners struggle to stick to the simple plan they have to grow their business.

A dieter buys diet book. Takes action for a while. Fails. Buys another diet book.

A business owner buys business book. Takes action for a while. Fails. Buys another business book.

An ‘x’ person buys ‘x’ book. Takes action for a while. Fails. Buys another ‘x’ book.

All because change is occurring, as opposed to transformation

So How Do We Transform?

The key is very simple.

Perhaps too simple for some people.

You will never get the body or life you want by doing the things you loathe.

Think about it… if you hate doing something, it will always be an effort and a struggle to keep doing it.

Who wants to live their life in perpetual struggle?

I know I don’t.

You see, this all relates to a portion of the brain called the pre-frontal cortex (PFC).

This is responsible for what makes us human.

It’s the only part of the brain that could really be referred to as ‘the mind’, with it allowing us to visualise goals and see our dreams and then build a path towards achieving them.

Without this section of the brain we would essentially be animals walking around in human bodies.

Only problem is that, for various reasons, we are a lot of the time what could be described as ‘out of our minds’.

To ‘access’ this human PFC portion of the brain we need to first satisfy the two other main areas – the reptile (basic safety and security) and the mammal (social connection and hierarchy).

For various reasons beyond the scope of this blog post, many of us are pulled ‘out of our minds’ and back into one of the other brains. And this leaves us unable to access the PFC to visualise and achieve a goal.

So… What Does This Have to do with Transformation?

Fortunately, there’s a kind of back up system in the brain that works for transformation, even if you are ‘out of your mind’.

It’s to do with another part of the brain called the Basal Ganglia (Ganglia – I love that word J ).

This is the home of habit.

And if we can make something a habit.

A genuine habit.

Then we transform.

So until responsibility for a behaviour has been taken up by the Basal Ganglia, you have merely changed and not transformed.

“How do we do that?” I hear you ask.

Well, it’s not about taking 21 days to build a habit or 28 days or whatever any of that bollocks says.

It’s not about reading as many books, attending as many webinars or buying as many courses as possible.

Nor is it about setting rules, getting accountability or having the greatest willpower.

It’s about… freedom and enjoyment.

You see, you only transform if you repeatedly ‘do’ a behaviour.

You only repeatedly do what you enjoy.

You only enjoy what you desire.

You only desire what you choose.

Being made to do something (whether it’s by yourself or by others) kills desire.

Kill desire and you kill enjoyment.

Kill enjoyment and you kill action.

Kill action and you kill results.

Back to Clare…

I can hear what you’re saying now.

“This all sounds fancy, but what can I actually do about this?”

Well, I’ll tell you what Clare did and hopefully it can give you some insight.

We set her free.

Free from the restrictive diet plans and exercise regimes.

Turns out, she hated eating breakfast.

Yet she was told she must eat breakfast because ‘it’s the most important meal of the day’.

Maybe it’s scientifically correct, and she would have lost more weight in a shorter amount of time by eating a protein heavy breakfast.

But she hated doing it, so she wasn’t going to stick with it.

So now she skips breakfast.

Doesn’t eat until lunch.

And because she’s happier, she eats a lot healthier at that meal.

Also turns out that she hates the gym and lifting weights.

Most experts would say the best exercise for losing weight is to go lift weights to charge the body’s metabolism and burn through those calories.

Clare hated it.

Much preferred getting outside on a bike or going for a hike up a mountain.

So she stopped her gym membership.

Now it doesn’t feel like a chore to go exercise.

It works in business too!

Is content creation a huge part of your business, yet you hate writing blogs?

Stop blogging! Start podcasting. Or making videos. Or outsourcing it.

Or you could even make blogging enjoyable by putting yourself in an environment you like while doing it.

So, instead of cooping yourself up in a horrible office… go out to the beach or the forest and write there if it’s a place you like being.

You will never make a habit out of it until you enjoy it and feel free in your choice in doing it.

So go enjoy life.

Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Nine Questions To Discover Your Core Values, Find Your Passion And Frigin LOVE Your Life And Business

I was once a complete cock!

And this post is going to tell you why.

But I want to start by asking a question…

Ever feel like you still haven’t figured out why you’re here yet?

Like you have something incredible to contribute to this world.

And it’s just around the next corner…

But you can never seem to get around that corner.

Sure, you may have done some impressive things.

Maybe even made some real impact with a business or in various people’s lives.

Yet there is still that niggling little piece of you that says…

“I want more!”

Core Values

This post stems back to my own battle with unhappiness.

And how I overcame it.

Or at least am in the process of doing so!

You see, while in my old personal training business I constantly had that “I want more” feeling.

Now I’m not talking about money.

(Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting more moolah in your pocket!).

The business was profitable and growing.

And I loved seeing the clients I was working with transform their lives.

But I just woke up every morning feeling like I was on a path to a destination determined for me by somebody else.

I needed more purpose in my life.

And to be able to live and behave the way I felt was right deep down in my core.

In other words, I was living out of line with my core values.

How to Be A Cock

Don’t get me wrong…

At the time, I didn’t have a clue what my own core values were.

I mean, I had thought about them.

And even come up with values for my business… but not for me!

I was even teaching clients to discover and live by their core values, without doing it myself!

What a cock!

I gave myself the excuse that I was ‘too busy’ for doing it myself.

Which basically translates into…

I was distracting myself from my own unhappiness by creating ‘busy-ness’ in my life.

Uber cock!

How to Find Your Passion

So I sat down and used the nine questions I used with clients in order to help discover your core values, find your passion and find your purpose.

I actually dedicated a good period of time to…

  1. Answering each question fully;
  2. Putting some real thought into every answer;
  3. Not allowing previous thoughts, feelings or external influences to dictate what each answer ‘should be’;
  4. And purposefully avoiding the ‘sensible’ or ‘logical’ answer if it didn’t feel like it really resonated with me.

And this is what I encourage you to do with these questions as well.

Q1. What is your dream and what does your ideal life look like?

Bit of a non-specific one to start.

Just begin to get the juices flowing.

What kind of life do you envisage in the future?

DO NOT allow other peoples’ opinions or ‘being sensible’ to hold you back.

Q2. What makes you feel good?

Take a look at your current life.

What activities or tasks make you feel good and energised? And what makes you feel tired, bored and sluggish?

What things could you do for an hour and it feel like five minutes?

For me, this was writing/blogging, connecting with people and having the freedom to create all kinds of stuff that can make a difference in peoples’ lives.

And this is exactly why I then decided to start this blog and launch the podcast.

Q3. What are you passionate about?

This is the thing or things that really get you fired up.

What gets your juices and emotions flowing?

I imagined myself on stage talking to hundreds of people, and asked myself…

“What subject would I be really fired up about and could I imagine myself using strong, emotive language and expressions with on stage?”

And the answer was health, wellness and happiness.

Q4. What kind of life gives you a deep sense of purpose?

This is completely subjective.

One person could get a real purpose from working a 9-5 and having a strong family life.

While another person may feel that’s not enough.

For me, I want to have the freedom of entrepreneurship, while bringing genuine value and making a difference in the lives of others.

Charity, travelling and exploring the world and what it has to offer is something that also gives me a deep sense of purpose.

Others, however, may feel sticking in one spot and becoming a rock in that local community is a purposeful life.

Q5. What kind of people do you want to live out these experiences with?

It’s essential the people you share your dream with are also on the same page.

If you’re a real ‘hippy’ at heart, it’s no good spending a lot of your time with straight-laced, big city lawyer types.

Similarly, you need to make sure your spouse and close friends are up for the life you have been defining so far.

I wanted to spend my time around open-minded people who were into self-development, health and weren’t going to ‘take the piss’ when you suggested doing something against the status-quo… but still didn’t take life too seriously and were also up for a beer and a laugh!

In my experience, entrepreneurs fit this description perfectly.

True entrepreneurs, I find, just want to live life the best it can possibly be lived.

And so I decided to surround myself with these kinds of people (people like you!).

Q6. Where in the world do you want to live out this experience?

Quite a simple question.

And one that most people have thought about at one time or another.

“Oh, I would love to live in…” is a pretty common phrase.

Yet few people actually make a commitment to get to that place.

Waking up to constant rain when you want to live in a tropical paradise or in a big city when you would rather be in the countryside is a sure fire way to trigger that inner uneasiness.

Or tying yourself to a location with a long term mortgage when you know travelling is something you would be happier doing.

I couldn’t come up with a location for me, and so my conclusion is that I need to travel more and experience more of the world in order to find the place I am happiest.

Q7. What are the working conditions like in your vision for this future?

We all need to ‘work’ in one form or another.

But if you’re trapped in an office when you would rather be outside, or always around people when you would rather work alone, then this is going to affect how happy you feel.

So really consider what kind of environment you want to work in.

For me, the thought of working via a laptop and an internet connection from anywhere in the world had always pulled on me.

Yet I didn’t want to work alone – so I created the podcast to ensure I could regularly talk to people who I genuinely wanted to spend time with and then put it out there as something I knew others would get value from.

Q8. What is your income level like?

It may seem slightly out of context to now talk about money.

But funding your lifestyle is essential.

Money cannot bring you happiness by itself.

But it can enable us to have experiences that do bring happiness.

And a lack of money can certainly bring about real unhappiness.

So define EXACTLY how much you need each month to live the kind of life you want to live.

This is completely subjective.

You may be utterly ecstatic to live a life that costs just £750 a month.

Or your dream life may cost £100,000 a month.

Define how much it costs, and develop the path to bring in that amount in order for you to live it.

Q9. So, what are your core values?

After asking myself all these questions, I simply collated all the information and put it together into a set of simple core values. I suggest having between 3-5.

I now base my decisions (or at least the ones that will have a lasting effect) on these core values.

They are kind of a ‘code of conduct’ for how to live your life.

Essentially, you are building your own set of ‘rules for life’.

And everything just seems to become a hell of a lot… clearer.

So, for anyone who is interested, here is what I came up with as my core values:

  1. Love (both to myself and to others)
  2. Laughter (normal laughter and laughter of the heart, or joy)
  3. Light (appreciating the darkness by celebrating the light and always showing the light)

I like using the one word or phrase style as it serves as just a reminder of certain things that sit deep within me and I know cause deep feelings of discontent if I move out of line of them.

But you can use whole sentences if that sits better with you.

Let me know how you found this post in the comments. What core values did you discover?